Mid-Valley Voice

Wedding Shower 101

As the hostess, you are basically planning a party that anticipates an even bigger party. And the guest of honor is someone who is close to you. So you'll want to make every effort to make the bride or the couple happy.

Take a moment to review the following basic information regarding how to plan a wedding shower.

Hostess(es)

Traditionally, the honor attendant serves as shower hostess. She can request help from members of the wedding party.

Co-workers, female relatives of the bride or the groom, can throw additional showers. Usually the mothers of the bride and groom do not serve as hostesses, but they may help out behind the scenes. Other close friends who are not in the wedding party may throw a shower. This customs is especially prevalent for small wedding parties.

Budget

How much do you want to spend on the shower? Who is contributing? First, find out how much money you have to work with, then pick a location and theme.

Date/Time

Showers are traditionally held from six months before the wedding to a week before. Prior to picking a date and time, decide where you want to hold the shower since location availability will be a factor. Try to pick a day and time most of the guests will have open. This usually means weekend afternoons. However, work-day showers can be held during lunch hour or immediately after work. Evening get-togethers are also an option.

Surprise (?)

Planning a surprise shower can be challenging but well worth the look of shock on the bride's countenance or on the faces of the couple when they enter the room. Make this decision early, since it will affect how you proceed with the details.

The guest list

If the bride knows about the shower, ask her to help with the guest list. If you want it to be a surprise, consult with her mom, her sister or the groom (if it's not a couples shower). Make sure friends and family of the bride and groom are invited, as well as the wedding party. Everyone invited to the shower also should be on the wedding guest list.

Invitations

Invitations can be formal or casual, matching the theme of the festivities. They can be printed or fill-in-the-blank.

Send them out four to six weeks before the day to guarantee each guest gets the invitation in time to mark the shower on his or her calendar. Request an RSVP by two weeks before the party.

Gifts

Make sure the bride and groom have registered before the shower. Include information on where guests can purchase gifts along with the invitations.

Shower Locations and Themes

Like the wedding itself, a wedding shower can be as casual or as formal as the planners choose.

A homegrown affair. For a more intimate, casual shower, consider holding one at your home. Before you volunteer your house, be certain you have ample room for the guests. Will there be enough seating? Bathrooms? Refrigerator space for the food that will be served? At a shower, you want everyone to be able to enjoy themselves. Close quarters are not enjoyable.

A backyard barbeque. On a warm afternoon or evening, consider having the shower outside, where there is room to mingle. Hang outdoor lights, serve tropical drinks and have someone at the grill. Again, make sure you can accommodate the number of guests you're inviting. Make sure there's enough seating and bathrooms. And have a back-up plan in case of inclement weather.

Afternoon tea. There are many area tearooms that provide a Victorian atmosphere. You can go the whole nine yards and ask guests to dress the part with gloves and hats. Or go for casual elegance. Either way, a happy bride-to-be, tasty tea and crust-less sandwiches add up to a party made in heaven.

Time for wine. One of the St. Louis region's many wineries can provide wine for every taste, wonderful foods and even entertainment (on specified days and times). You may want to consider hiring transportation for guests, so there's a designated driver before you start. A winery shower can be particularly festive during the strawberry festival or Octoberfest.

Evening cocktails. An evening affair at a fashionable restaurant or bar could be an elegant alternative for a shower.

Sporting news. If the bride and groom are big sports fans, consider renting a suite at Busch Stadium, the Edward Jones Dome or Savvis Center to watch a Cardinals, Rams or Blues game. Offer hot dogs, popcorn, beer and soda. Don't forget to check security restrictions on packages.

A bunch for brunch. Consider having a Sunday brunch either at a restaurant or at home.

Honeymoon preview. Does the couple know where they're honeymooning? If they're heading for Cancun, have the shower at a Mexican restaurant. Bound for Hawaii? Have a luau. Exploring the Eternal City of Rome? Head to the Hill for an Italian feast.

Spa day. Gather the girls for a day of pampering. Some spas have packages available that include a variety of services, from manicures and pedicures to facials and massages. The staff should provide a private room where you can do the gift exchange and serve a healthy, spa-worthy meal.