Mid-Valley Voice

Wedding Shower 101

As the hostess, you are basically planning a party that anticipates an even bigger party. And the guest of honor is someone who is close to you. So you'll want to make every effort to make the bride or the couple happy.

Take a moment to review the following basic information regarding how to plan a wedding shower.

Hostess(es)

Traditionally, the honor attendant serves as shower hostess. She can request help from members of the wedding party.

Co-workers, female relatives of the bride or the groom, can throw additional showers. Usually the mothers of the bride and groom do not serve as hostesses, but they may help out behind the scenes. Other close friends who are not in the wedding party may throw a shower. This customs is especially prevalent for small wedding parties.

Budget

How much do you want to spend on the shower? Who is contributing? First, find out how much money you have to work with, then pick a location and theme.

Date/Time

Showers are traditionally held from six months before the wedding to a week before. Prior to picking a date and time, decide where you want to hold the shower since location availability will be a factor. Try to pick a day and time most of the guests will have open. This usually means weekend afternoons. However, work-day showers can be held during lunch hour or immediately after work. Evening get-togethers are also an option.

Surprise (?)

Planning a surprise shower can be challenging but well worth the look of shock on the bride's countenance or on the faces of the couple when they enter the room. Make this decision early, since it will affect how you proceed with the details.

The guest list

If the bride knows about the shower, ask her to help with the guest list. If you want it to be a surprise, consult with her mom, her sister or the groom (if it's not a couples shower). Make sure friends and family of the bride and groom are invited, as well as the wedding party. Everyone invited to the shower also should be on the wedding guest list.

Invitations

Invitations can be formal or casual, matching the theme of the festivities. They can be printed or fill-in-the-blank.

Send them out four to six weeks before the day to guarantee each guest gets the invitation in time to mark the shower on his or her calendar. Request an RSVP by two weeks before the party.

Gifts

Make sure the bride and groom have registered before the shower. Include information on where guests can purchase gifts along with the invitations.

Shower Locations and Themes

Like the wedding itself, a wedding shower can be as casual or as formal as the planners choose.

A homegrown affair. For a more intimate, casual shower, consider holding one at your home. Before you volunteer your house, be certain you have ample room for the guests. Will there be enough seating? Bathrooms? Refrigerator space for the food that will be served? At a shower, you want everyone to be able to enjoy themselves. Close quarters are not enjoyable.

A backyard barbeque. On a warm afternoon or evening, consider having the shower outside, where there is room to mingle. Hang outdoor lights, serve tropical drinks and have someone at the grill. Again, make sure you can accommodate the number of guests you're inviting. Make sure there's enough seating and bathrooms. And have a back-up plan in case of inclement weather.

Afternoon tea. There are many area tearooms that provide a Victorian atmosphere. You can go the whole nine yards and ask guests to dress the part with gloves and hats. Or go for casual elegance. Either way, a happy bride-to-be, tasty tea and crust-less sandwiches add up to a party made in heaven.

Time for wine. One of the St. Louis region's many wineries can provide wine for every taste, wonderful foods and even entertainment (on specified days and times). You may want to consider hiring transportation for guests, so there's a designated driver before you start. A winery shower can be particularly festive during the strawberry festival or Octoberfest.

Evening cocktails. An evening affair at a fashionable restaurant or bar could be an elegant alternative for a shower.

Sporting news. If the bride and groom are big sports fans, consider renting a suite at Busch Stadium, the Edward Jones Dome or Savvis Center to watch a Cardinals, Rams or Blues game. Offer hot dogs, popcorn, beer and soda. Don't forget to check security restrictions on packages.

A bunch for brunch. Consider having a Sunday brunch either at a restaurant or at home.

Honeymoon preview. Does the couple know where they're honeymooning? If they're heading for Cancun, have the shower at a Mexican restaurant. Bound for Hawaii? Have a luau. Exploring the Eternal City of Rome? Head to the Hill for an Italian feast.

Spa day. Gather the girls for a day of pampering. Some spas have packages available that include a variety of services, from manicures and pedicures to facials and massages. The staff should provide a private room where you can do the gift exchange and serve a healthy, spa-worthy meal.

Engagement and Wedding Rings

If you were to wear one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Would you go for what is trendy and hip? Or would you be more conservative and traditional with your choice?

These are the kinds of intensely personal decisions that you will face as you prepare to purchase your engagement and wedding rings.

In today's world, it is rare for a man to choose an engagement ring for his fiancé-to-be or a wedding ring for his bride-to-be without asking for her input.

Before you and your fiancé head into a jewelry store, become familiar with the "four C's," different stone shapes, the various setting options, wedding bands, and what's available for men beyond the traditional band.

The four C's: When you look at a diamond, you can judge its quality based on the four C's - carat, color, clarity and cut.

- Carat is the unit of weight used for diamonds. Carats are subdivided into points - there are 100 points to a carat. So a 130-point diamond weighs 1.3 carats.

- A diamond can actually be any color in the spectrum. Completely colorless, icy-white diamonds are rare, and therefore, more valuable. The best way to see the true color of a diamond is to look at it against a white surface.

- A diamond's clarity is determined by taking into account the number, size, placement, color and nature of any internal "inclusions" - external surface irregularities. Almost all diamonds have inclusions to some extent. The fewer or less noticeable the inclusions, the more valuable the diamond.

- Diamonds are cut into facets - the small, flat, polished planes cut into a diamond so that the maximum amount of light is reflected. The amount of this reflection is called "brilliance" and is extremely important in evaluating the quality of a diamond. A round, full-cut diamond has 58 facets.

Diamonds have a rating for each of the four Cs. Once you start looking at diamonds, you'll figure out which of them is most important to you. When considering size versus quality, keep in mind - a bigger diamond that doesn't have a high quality will just show more irregularities.

If you want to be a bit more daring, use a gemstone, such as a sapphire, emerald or ruby, for your engagement stone. You can always use smaller diamonds as accent stones or on your wedding band.

Shape: Stones are cut into different shapes, many of which can appear traditional and modern at the same time.

One of the most popular stone shapes is round because it shows incredible brilliance and is very traditional. Also popular right now are the square princess and the long and slender emerald. Other shapes include marquis, oval and pear.

Setting: The metal setting displays a stone to its best advantage. When it comes to setting, you will need to make two decisions: metal and setting style. For metal, you will choose between two basic colors:

- Yellow gold is considered the "traditional" wedding band metal, and it is said to symbolize the warmth and love of marriage.

- White metal is one of the hottest trends in jewelry. Platinum is the strongest metal and is very rare, a perfect metaphor for couples looking for that eternal symbol of devotion. White gold offers a similar look for less money. However, the difference is evident when you place the warmer-toned white gold next to the icy platinum.

- Do you want the best of both worlds? Choose a two-toned design that features both yellow and white metals. It offers great versatility for individuals who like to wear both colors.

There are many settings available, many of which are best suited for certain stone shapes and metal colors:

- A prong setting is the most common type. Prongs hold a stone firmly in a metal basket. Prong setting lets the light hit the diamond from all angles, maximizing a diamond's brilliance. Four prongs show more of the diamond. Six prongs hold the diamond more securely but can overwhelm a stone.

- A bezel setting is more contemporary. It consists of a metal rim with straight or scalloped edges that fully or partially surround the perimeter of the stone. It is usually a good choice for a round stone.

- A diamond in a white metal bezel setting usually appears larger, and a red or green gemstone in a yellow gold bezel setting often makes the stone appear redder or greener. However, a yellow gold bezel setting can sometimes make a diamond appear less white because the yellow tint of the setting is reflected in the stone.

- A channel setting places a row of stones with no metal separating them between two horizontal channels for part of the ring, or the entire ring. It has a smooth and unobtrusive surface and provides better security for small stones than some other settings. This setting is especially popular for wedding bands.

- Another setting popular for a band is pavé.  A pavé setting involves three or more rows of several small stones fitted into holes that set them level with the surface of the ring. The surrounding metal is then raised into beams that secure the gems. This setting gives the illusion of more and bigger stones than are actually there, but is not recommended for more fragile stones.

- Other settings you may be interested in include tension (in which the stone appears to be floating), bar (in which thin vertical bars of metal are placed between stones to hold them secure) and gypsy (in which the stone sets flush into a hole in the ring so that it doesn't protrude at all). The latter is very popular for men's rings.

Wedding bands: When looking at wedding bands, you can either purchase a band that matches your engagement ring or you can select one that complements it. You can also choose to solder your wedding band and engagement ring together, so that they are one ring, or keep them separate. Keep in mind, you'll have more flexibility if you keep them separate.

For instance, you can wear just your band(s) when you want to be casual and include your engagement ring for dressier occasions. Once you solder them, there's no separating them without potential damage.

For the groom: For most men, a wedding ring may be the only piece of jewelry they ever wear. They need to have a ring that's both comfortable and flattering.

Many men's rings today have a curved - not flat - interior leading to a more comfortable fit. Men can also look for rings that have a plain, tapered bottom designed to bear the brunt of abuse.

Diamond wedding rings for men are coming back. These diamonds aren't necessarily flashy, but they have subtle sparkle that makes them interesting. They also can coordinate with the bride's wedding band and be set the same way, or in a gypsy setting which is both functional and flattering for men.

The metal of a man's wedding ring should match his wife's whether she has a yellow gold, platinum or a two-toned setting.

It's all in the details: Whether you are the bride or groom, when trying on rings, be sure to select a style that flatters your hands.

Individuals with small hands and fingers look better with a proportionately - sized ring. Vertically set stones make hands seem longer, while an oversized ring makes hands seem shorter. If you have big hands, stay away from small rings - they'll make your hands look larger.

Make sure you ask your jeweler about caring for your rings. Have them cleaned regularly. And have the stones inspected for looseness. A diamond can last forever, but not if you lose your stone down a sink drain or in the yard because it was loose.

Flowers With Style

Of all the decisions you make in association with your wedding, choosing your flowers can be the most intimidating. There are so many varieties, breeds, and subtle variations in color. And that's not even taking into account the seasonal factors such as what flowers are available at the time of year for your wedding.

The following listing includes some ideas on which to base your arrangements, the best types of flowers to use and some seasonal choices.

Bridal Bouquets: Your bridal bouquet is perhaps the most important - and most photographed - arrangement in your wedding. Consider these ideas when picking your bouquet:

- A gift from the groom. Since the bridal bouquet is a gift from the husband-to-be, let him pick the flowers (with some assistance, of course). Then in those moments before the ceremony when you are holding your bouquet, you'll remember that your groom chose those flowers especially for you. And you'll be able to hold the bouquet of blooms close to you as you process down the aisle.

- A living memory. What did your mother carry in her wedding bouquet? What about your grandmother? Create a tradition by replicating your mom's or grandmother's bouquet.

- A study in contrasts. If you want your bouquet to stand out against your white dress, carry bright flowers.

- A fragrant bundle of joy. A white bouquet featuring a combination of sturdy orchids, elegant calla lilies, sweet gardenias and traditional lilies of the valley will surround you with a natural perfume.

- The shape of your joy. Perhaps you want the extravagance of a cascade, the simple elegance of a round bunch, the beauty of long-stemmed blooms laying in the crook of your arm, or the pure romance of a heart. The shape of your bouquet should reflect both your personal style and the style and theme you've set for your wedding.

- A matching pair. Your groom's boutonniere can be a very miniature version of your bouquet, keeping the same flowers, hues and shape but on a smaller scale.

Bridesmaids' Bouquets and Groomsmen's Boutonnieres: Your bridesmaids' flowers should match the colors in their dresses, and the groomsmen's boutonnieres should match the color scheme. Following are a few fresh ideas for these flowers:

- If your wedding features multiple colors, have each bridesmaid carry a bouquet that features one of the hues. For example, if you're having a spring wedding, consider having one bridesmaid carry lavender flowers, another yellow, another pink and another peach.

- The groomsmen escorting them should have a boutonniere in a matching color.

Use flowers with symbolism that reflect your values:

- Blue violets - faithfulness

- Forget-me-nots - true love

- Honeysuckle - bonds of love

- Ivy - fidelity

- Jasmine - joy

- Lilies of the valley - return of happiness

- Myrtle - remembrance (especially poignant if you're remembering some dearly departed love ones during your celebration)

- Red chrysanthemums, roses or tulips - love

- Instead of carrying bouquets, have each bridesmaid carry a single bloom to make an elegant, bold statement.

Mother-of-the-Bride/Mother-of-the-Groom Nosegays: Don't forget mom! Small bouquets make the mothers look lovely when they're being escorted down the aisle. While these bouquets should be consistent in color and style with the rest of the blooms you're using, let the mothers personalize their flowers. If they have a particular flowers that is special to them, ask the florist to include it.

Floral Décor: When discussing the flowers with your florist, don't forget altar flowers, pew decorations, as well as reception centerpieces and displays. Let your florist know your wedding theme and style. If possible provide photographs of your ceremony and reception sites. He or she should be able to provide some innovative ideas for your arrangements.

Bare-Faced Beauty - Your Wedding Day Complexion

It is true when they say that beauty is skin deep. So you should do your best to take care of your complexion to ensure radiant skin. Following are some steps to make sure your complexion is in the best shape possible on your wedding day.

Six months before your wedding, consult a skin care specialist or dermatologist for a good cleansing program. An expert can help you determine what kinds of products will work best with your skin type. He or she also can help you figure out how to take care of any problem areas.

Take a serious look at your nutrition. If you don't already do so, start drinking at least eight glasses of water a day. Water not only hydrates you, but also leads to clear skin.

Stay away from caffeine. Avoid items such as tea, coffee and soda, as well as greasy foods. Start paying attention to what you eat. Veggies and fruits are better for your skin than fast food.

Approximately three to four months before your wedding make an appointment for a facial. Make sure the spa you select has licensed clinicians working on your skin.

Let the person performing your service know what the skin care expert or dermatologist said about your skin and what products you use. He or she can tailor the facial so it doesn't aggravate your skin.

If you enjoy the experience and have good results (clear, smooth skin), consider scheduling regular facial appointments before your wedding.

Now is a good time to experiment with self-tanners if you think you'll want a little color for your wedding. Test several brands to see which shows the best color and how they otherwise react to your skin. Obviously, you won't want to use any product that causes break outs, splotches or other irritations. Find out the method of application that best works for you.

Six weeks before your wedding is a good time to do a trial run of any professional waxing services you may need from eyebrows, to upper lip, to bikini waxes - especially if you're planning on wearing swimsuits on your honeymoon.

Determine how your skin reacts to the waxing. Some people have no reaction at all. Others experience extreme redness, bumps and irritation. Find out now how you can best take care of your skin's reaction so you'll know what to do for your next appointment.

Nothing looks better against clear skin that a bright, white smile. Try whitening toothpaste or professional bleaching to make your smile brighter than it's been in years.

Two weeks before your wedding keep up the good work. Even though things are probably getting hectic, make sure you follow your skin care regime and continue drinking plenty of water. And no matter how rushed you are, try to limit your fast food intake. Grease is a complexion destroyer!

Bridal Gowns

Most women have dreamed about their wedding dress since they were little girls.

Your bridal gown is probably the biggest fashion purchase you will ever make. When you close your eyes and picture yourself in your wedding gown, what do you see? How do you make that vision a reality? Your goal should be to find the perfect dress - the one that turns you into the bride of your dreams. Don't settle for anything less.

Your Attitude and Style: As you go about planning your wedding, you are sure to have picked themes and styles that represent your personal tastes and preferences. That is what should drive your choice in a wedding gown.

The look and feel of the gown should reflect who you are and what you enjoy. Are you laid-back and casual? Do your wedding plans reflect that? Then so should your dress.

Or are you more conservative, a traditionalist? Then a more formal gown will naturally appeal to you.

The Best Gown for Different Shapes: Casual or formal, romantic or modern, the dress you pick should flatter your physical attributes. Take a moment to review the accompanying list of body types and the gown styles that best suit them.

- If you have an hourglass figure, with a full bust and hips and a thin waist, you have curves in all the right places. Consider an A-line gown with a sweetheart neckline to display your attributes to their best advantage.

- If you are short waisted, an A-line gown will elongate your figure. If you have toned arms and shoulders, consider a halter neckline. It will draw attention to that area.

- If you have a thick, undefined waist, try an empire-waist gown, which will give you a long, trim look.

- If you're full-figured, a ball gown will de-emphasize the body areas you want to hide. An A-line gown will create a slimming silhouette.

- If you're pear-shaped, with a small chest and heavier bottom, a strapless ball gown will cover the bottom and draw attention up. An off-the-shoulder neckline will give the illusion of balance between your top and bottom.

- If you are thin, a ball gown will emphasize your trim size and make you look like an elegant ballerina. A sheath always hangs beautifully on a slim body.

- If you are petite, go for a simple A-line gown or sheath. An elaborate ballgown style may appear to be wearing you.

Color (or Lack Thereof) and Embellishments: Believe it or not, bridal gowns come in many colors, although white remains the first choice of the modern bride. Colors such as soft pink, blue or green are new options. Metallics, like silver, gold and copper, are also becoming prominent.

For those brides who want to shine, some dresses come uniquely embellished. From rhinestones to pearl flowers, today's gowns shine with elegance. Or go glitzy with beading and embellishments in gold, silver, bronze and color overlays as dress accents.

Heading for the Stores: Once you have a firm idea of what you may see in the stores and what best suits you, it's time to start shopping. Bridal shops vary in policy, but keep in mind the following list of questions you should ask on the phone before you arrive in person.

- Will I need an appointment? Some shops require an appointment to even view bridal gowns.

- What are the hours? Some bridal shops are only open certain days during the week. Others keep evening hours only on specified days.

- Which designers does the store carry? If you've been pouring over wedding magazines and of course you have, you may have your heart set on a Vera Wang or a Scaasi.

- What range of prices and sizes are carried? At higher-end shops, you may not be able to find a bridal gown under $1,000. There are shops that specialize in plus-size dresses.

- Ask If you can look through the gowns yourself or will you have to look with a salesperson? Some shops have such vast inventory, they simply ask you the types of gowns you'd like to try on and then bring you samples to preview.

Take the following items with you when you're shopping for gowns:

- A strapless bra or bustier

- Panty hose

- A pair of shoes with the same type of heel as the ones you plan to wear for your wedding

- Your mom, sister(s), honor attendant and/or bridesmaids. Try to limit your group to three people. And do remember that the one person who really wants to be there is your mom!

After you've found the dress - and you'll know it when you see it - find out the following information from your salesperson.

- How long will it take for the dress to arrive? Can it be rushed if necessary? Although you know you should start shopping early, it may take you awhile to find the right gown.

- Will the dress you order look exactly like the one you try on? Make sure you're getting exactly what you want.

- Does the dress have a matching headpiece? While you might not want a headpiece that exactly matches your dress and may instead choose a complementary one, it's good to know whether you have the option.

- Does the store carry headpieces, or can they suggest a store with a good selection of headpieces? Your salesperson can either help you pick out a headpiece and veil, or direct you to a quality shop.

- What alterations will need to be done? How much will they cost and can you get a written estimate? Get everything in writing.

- If your bridesmaids order their dresses through this store, are there discounts available? Some stores offer a percentage off your gown or your bridesmaids' dresses if you order all from them.

- How much is the deposit? Some shops require a flat fee, others ask for a percentage of the overall price.

- What are the cancellation/refund policies? Check to see if there is a certain time period during which you can cancel your order and have your deposit refunded.

- When is the final balance due? Some stores require final payment before the dress comes in.

- Can the store list everything about the dress on the contract? As always - get everything in writing. For your gown, this means the designer's name, size, price, color, fabric, manufacturer, style number and delivery date.

Will you work with the same salesperson when you come in for fittings? Some salespeople are there to sell only. In that case, you'll deal with a different staffer for fittings.

Newlywed Nails

Beautiful Hands and Feet for Your Wedding Day: It's known as the ring shot - when your photographer takes a shot of your hand with a bright, shiny wedding ring on your ring finger, lovingly grasping the hand of your husband. The last thing anyone wants to see in the ring shot are discolored, jagged nails and ragged cuticles.

Not good with manicure tools? Here are some tips on nails that will make any ring look that much better.

Shape: Your fingernail beds - the nail area from your cuticle to the whites - have a distinct shape. Are they long, short or in between? When considering what shape to file your nails, look to your nail bed to guide you.

Pointed oval tips are best for those with long nail beds. Squared tips best suit short nail beds. And softly rounded tips complement any bed shape.

When it comes to your toes, the nails should be cut straight across. Then shape only the big toe slightly with a file.

Length: You don't want any snags on your wedding day, do you? With all of the handshaking, hugging, bouquet holding and cake slicing, you want fingernails you can work with. Keep nails fairly short or medium length. That way, you'll have less chance of having one break.

Color: Against a white wedding dress, soft neutral colors look best. Consider blush pink, pearl or opal. A French manicure looks very elegant and is perfect for a wedding.

For your toes, you could match your fingernails. French manicures look charming on toes. Or you could have your "something blue" on your feet - a bright blue nail polish could be fun if you're daring.

Fake It: If you're a closet nail biter, have weak nails or nails that just don't hold polish no matter what you do, fake it.

Two weeks before your wedding, get a full set of acrylic nails. They can be any length or shape you prefer. They're very durable, and polish never chips off them. You may need a little while to get used to them, but acrylic nails consistently look great. This will be especially nice when you're on your honeymoon and still have beautiful nails.

If you're concerned about harming your natural nail, just have the acrylic nails removed when you return from the honeymoon. Great looking nails at your wedding and on your honeymoon are well worth the price and effort.

Marriage Makeup

When thinking about the makeup you'll wear on your wedding day, there are many factors to take into account.

Do-It-Yourself or Hire an Expert? For some women, picking out and applying makeup comes naturally. For others it can be a challenge.

If you have a steady hand and a good eye for makeup trends and colors, hit the cosmetic counters yourself. There should be salespeople on hand who can give you tips on colors and application.

If the thought of visiting a makeup counter alone and then applying the makeup that will be seen by all your guests and in photographs makes you nervous, consider hiring a makeup artist. But first, do your research.

Ask your hairstylist or someone else at the salon that you frequent if they have any suggestions. Then schedule a consultation.

During the consultation, show your makeup artist a Polaroid of your dress, headpiece and veil. Discuss what you think you may be doing with your hair. Then see if he or she suggests suitable makeup.

Deciding What to Emphasize: The feature you decide to emphasize depends upon the facial feature you think is most flattering and the style of your wedding. When you emphasize one feature, the rest of your makeup must be toned down.

For instance, don't combine strong cheeks, eyes and lips. You want to look like a better version of yourself, not someone that wears too much makeup.

- Emphasize your cheeks if you have high cheekbones and good "apples." A look with flushed cheeks could complement a flowing, airy gown and an outdoor wedding. Make sure you apply with a light hand, though. You don't want it to look like you have two red dots.

- Emphasize your eyes if you want a more modern look. Kohl-rimmed eyes are still fashionable but it can be a hard look to pull off on your own. Go to either a makeup consultant at a cosmetic counter or consult a makeup artist on how to layer pearly gray, charcoal and black shadow and liner to create dramatic eyes.

- Strong red lips are very fashionable if your look is traditional, like that of a 1950's bride. Try to find the right shade of red for you. There are many varieties - blue-based reds, pinkish reds, orange reds and brown reds - to pick from these days. Learn to layer lip products properly for maximum staying power and minimum feathering. Again, consult a makeup expert or makeup artist on how to pull off this look.

Pulling Off the Natural Look: If you don't often wear makeup, the natural look may be best for you. That doesn't mean going without makeup.

It does mean that your makeup is applied with a soft touch and a subtle hand. A slight flush to your cheeks, some accentuation to draw attention to the eyes, lips that are just a shade darker than your natural color with lots of shine.

Keep in mind that for photographs and video footage, you will want slightly stronger makeup than you're used to for greater visibility.

Do a Test Run: Whatever style you select, whether you apply it yourself or have the help of a professional makeup artist, schedule a test run with your makeup. Apply it exactly as you plan to wear it on your wedding day, then take some snapshots. Analyze whether the makeup is too subtle, too dramatic or just right.

Pretty as a Petal - Flower Girl Fashion

When a little flower girl floats down the aisle at a wedding, she reminds the guests of what the bride must have been like as a child. And while you want her dress to match the overall scheme of the wedding, you don't want to choose anything that detracts from her girlish charm.

Pretty, feminine dresses continue to define the flower girl's image, as her dress traditionally is similar to the bridesmaids in color and style. Some brides prefer the flower girl's ensemble to resemble her own, using similar elements such as pearl beading or lace. It's not uncommon today to see flower girls mini veils to complement the bride's attire.