Mid-Valley Voice

Band or DJ?

The music at your wedding can make or break the mood. To keep things moving and upbeat, you must depend on either a professional disc jockey (DJ) or live band. The following compilation details the attributes of both, to help you decide the perfect music choice for you.

DJ: A good DJ does much more than pop in the CDs. He or she sets the tone for your entire reception. The DJ usually serves as a master of ceremonies, announcing each of the important events of the reception - from the entrance of the wedding party to the last dance of the evening. A charismatic DJ gets all the guests involved and keeps the party going.

As to price, a DJ may be more economical than a band - you're paying for the time of just one person as opposed to a group of people. The DJ service you choose should use professional sound and lighting equipment. He or she should also provide a wireless microphone to use during toasts. And, most importantly, the DJ should have a wide selection of music.

When you use a DJ, you'll have access to a variety of music genres and songs - from country to soul from rock to jazz. You don't have to stick with just one type of music. And if you want to use a song the DJ doesn't carry, you can always bring it along yourself. You'll be able to play any recording available. When your DJ takes a break, it need not stop the party. He or she can play multiple selections in a row to keep the party going.

Make sure to get a DJ whose personality and emcee skills are exciting and attention-getting. This doesn't mean he or she needs to be loud and obnoxious - a quiet, laid-back DJ may be just the person for a certain crowd. However, a dull DJ can kill the mood and drag down the entire reception. Make sure you see your DJ in action before booking him or her.

Band: A live band can really get your guests in a party mood while, by example, setting the scene for the celebration. A good bandleader will not only act as master of ceremonies, but also encourage guest interaction. He or she can get a feel for the room and pick up the pace when there seems to be a lull in the action.

Live music can be exhilarating for guests. And many musicians specialize in particular musical genres. Bands are available that play Motown classics, swing, country, rock, pop, music from the 80s, or any other type of music that gets your guests' feet moving.

A live band also offers an air of sophistication to a party. Even guests who won't get up and dance can admire the artistry of professional musicians.

For the most part, a band will be more expensive than a DJ. After all, you're paying for the talent of several live musicians. Also, when a band takes a break, the transition is more noticeable. Guests will likely leave the dance floor even if a CD is played. Some bands take five-minute breaks, others take 20-minute breaks. Be sure to check out the break policies of the bands you're talking to before signing a contract. And you'll want to see a live performance to make sure the band can match any recordings that may have caught your ear.

No Matter Which Way You Go ... Whether band or DJ, there are certain details you should cover with the musical entertainment for your reception before booking them:

• Are they available? The best bands and DJ services may be booked 18 months to one year in advance. And some dates are especially popular. Try to preview reception entertainment as far in advance as you can so you have many quality options available to you.
• What is their style? Are they outgoing, getting each guest on the dance floor? Or are they quiet, letting the music speak for itself? Make sure their style matches your preference.
• What will they wear? For a more formal affair, will they dress black-tie? Suits? Jeans? Make sure to specify what dress you'd prefer. And don't forget to ask about accessories. If you don't want a "Cat in the Hat" striped top hat brought out, make sure you specify that.
• What is included in their package price? How many hours will they play? How many breaks will they take?
• What is their overtime charge? If you choose to extend the reception, will they continue performing? What rate will they charge?
• Do you get to choose the musical selection? Must you list each and every song you want played, or will they determine the list? Will they take guest requests?
• Do they have back-ups? If your DJ or one of the performers is unable to make it at the last minute, who will appear in his or her place? By the same token, do they have back-up equipment available in case something unexpected happens?
• Can you see them live at another wedding? Most bands and DJs can arrange for you to see a live performance. As noted earlier, it's a good idea to see a live performance to determine if they're the right choice for you.
• Can you specifically prohibit the playing of a certain song? Sick of "The Electric Slide?" Don't feel like quacking along to "The Duck Dance?" Afraid "The Macarena" will ruin your night? Make sure you can specify which song you don't want to hear, as well as the ones you do.

As you know, it is imperative to get all details in writing before you hire your band or DJ. Carefully read over the contract to make sure everything is covered, so you can dance all night without a worry.

Put on Your Dancing Shoes

Your reception will have some very special moments that you will remember the rest of your life, especially the ceremonial dances you share with your loved ones.

You'll want to select songs that suit you and your style. In addition, these musical selections should reflect your relationships with these special men in your life: your new husband, your father, stepfather, grandfather or uncles.

Check out the list below to find some melodious options for these dances. Then put on your dancing shoes.

The First Dance: Whether you prefer classic standards or something a little more modern, you can be sure to find the perfect song for your first dance as a married couple:

Standards:

• "At Last" (Etta James)
• "The Best Is Yet to Come" (Frank Sinatra)
• "Can't Help Falling in Love" (Elvis Presley)
• "Close to You" (The Carpenters)
• "Embraceable You" (Nat King Cole)
• "Here and Now" (Luther Vandross)
• "It Had to Be You" (Harry Connick Jr.)
• "Our Love Is Here to Stay" (Billie Holiday)
• "We've Only Just Begun" (The Carpenters)
• "Your Song" (Elton John)

Rock Power Ballads:

• "Amazed" (Lonestar)
• "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" (Aerosmith)
• "Open Arms" (Journey)
• "Time After Time" (Cyndi Lauper)
• "We Belong" (Pat Benatar)
• "You Got to Let Love Rule" (Lenny Kravitz)

Modern Marriage Music:

• "Crash" (Dave Matthews Band)
• "Ice Cream" (Sarah McLachlan)
• "In Your Eyes" (Peter Gabriel)
• "Kiss Me" (Six Pence None the Richer)
• "Let My Love Open the Door [to Your Heart]" (Pete Townsend)
• "Tonight, Tonight" (Smashing Pumpkins)
• "Wonderful Tonight" (Eric Clapton)

Father-Daughter Dance: Weddings are very emotional for the father-of-the-bride. He's just escorted his little girl down the aisle and presented her to her husband. The father-daughter dance, amidst all the activity that makes up a wedding, is a chance for dad and his daughter to spend some time together before she departs the family and begins her new life.

• "Butterfly Kisses" (Bob Carlisle)- Although this song may be a little sappy, it brings a tear to the eye of every father who's given away his daughter at the altar.
• "In My Life" (The Beatles)
• "Isn't She Lovely" (Stevie Wonder)
• "My Girl" (The Temptations)
• "Thank Heaven for Little Girls" (Maurice Chevalier)
• "Unforgettable" (Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole)
• "The Way You Look Tonight" (Frank Sinatra)

Mother-Son Dance: At his wedding, every man can be a mama's boy, at least while the mother-of-the-groom dances with her special guy.

• "Mama" (Boys II Men)
• "Mockingbird" (Carly Simon and James Taylor")
• "My Funny Valentine" (Frank Sinatra)
• "You Are the Sunshine of My Life" (Stevie Wonder)

Wedding Party Dance: They've been your friends, they've stood by you. Now, they'll dance with you. Pick a special song for your wedding party.

• "Friends Are Friends Forever" (Michael W. Smith)
• "I'll Remember" (Madonna)
• "I Will Remember You" (Sarah McLachlan)
• "Stand By Me" (Ben E. King)
• "You've Got a Friend" (James Taylor)

Your Reception Hall

Selecting Your Reception Site: Your wedding ceremony is just the beginning of the festivities. The celebration continues at your reception. Your wedding reception may be the most important - and largest - party you will ever throw. And a great party deserves a great venue.

There are many factors to take into consideration when selecting your reception site, including:

The number of guests. A large guest list requires a large venue, such as a reception hall or hotel ballroom. Some halls can accommodate up to 900 guests and more. If you have a small guest list, you will be able to have your reception in a more intimate setting, such as a museum, botanical garden or historic home.

Ambiance and atmosphere. Do you want a formal hall with separate areas for drinks, dining and dancing? Perhaps your site would look beautiful by candlelight. Maybe you want something a little more rustic? Do you want to feel fresh air on your face?

Whether you're looking for roomy and airy, or close and cozy, try to view the venues you're considering after the facility's staff sets up for a wedding or while a reception is in progress. That way, you'll be able to judge what the room looks like with decorations and people, and tell whether it's the right atmosphere for you.

Surroundings. Do you see your reception surrounded by green trees? Or perhaps a view of the city's skyline? Maybe you want to be surrounded by colorful blooms or a country field.

When you look at a reception venue, consider not only the interior but also the exterior. Look out the windows and make sure you're happy with what you see.

Facility services. Some reception sites can provide you with a number of services that may make your planning easier, including an on-site wedding coordinator, catering and wait staff, bakers, and valets. If a site does not provide these services the staff should be able to provide you with a list of recommended providers with whom they've worked before or with whom they have special pricing arrangements.

Many brides say that finding a reception site is much like shopping for your dress - not only can you imagine it clearly when you close your eyes, but you'll know the right one when you see it. And with so many venues available throughout the St. Louis area, you can be sure to find one that fits!

Dining Styles The type of wedding you have chosen - casual or formal, traditional or contemporary - should determine the dining style you choose for your reception dinner. Somewhere within these choices will be a dining style that suits you as a couple, your guests and your celebration.

Sit-Down Reception For a formal affair with an elegant tone, a sit-down reception is the ideal choice. Guests generally mingle during a cocktail hour and are called to dinner by meal chimes. Waiters then serve them their courses at their tables. A sit-down reception often times seems to flow quite easily since the guests all can be served at one time.

Buffet Reception A buffet reception is the right choice if your wedding is more casual and you'd like to serve a variety of foods. With multiple choices of entrees and side dishes, all your guests are sure to find something they will enjoy.

However, if you have a large number of guests some guests may be finished with their meal while others are still waiting to get their food. Other guests may be forced to carry their food through an obstacle course of other guests, tables and chairs to get back to their seats.

For a larger reception, you may want to consider setting up two buffets - one at either end of the room. And make sure that you and your groom are served at a head table by the wait staff. There will be many photos taken and you won't want to risk a spill while walking the buffet line.

Food Station Reception If your wedding is more modern, consider food stations. Small buffets can be set up around the room, each featuring a different type of food or theme.

For instance, one station can offer Chinese food, with won tons, crab rangoon, stir fries and fortune cookies. Another can serve sushi and spring rolls. And yet another can offer an assortment of fruits, nuts and cheeses.

Not only will you be able to serve a large variety of foods, but also food stations encourage your guests to mingle. However, with guests up and about, it may be difficult to get their attention for traditional wedding moments, such as the cutting of the cake, first dance and bouquet toss.

And much like the buffet setting, make sure that you and your groom are served at a head table by the wait staff. You don't want to risk a spill on your gown while you or someone else is walking with food.

Seating Arrangements at the Reception At your reception, there are specific places of honor so that the people who are close to you can be seated nearby.

The Bridal Party's Table Traditionally, the bridal party's table is rectangular with seating on just one side, so the guests can have a good view of the couple. Sometimes, this head table is on a raised platform. The bride and groom sit in the center, with the best man on the right next to the bride and the maid/matron of honor on the left next to the groom. The other members of the bridal party are seated on either side, with men and women alternating.

Some couples find that the traditional seating arrangement makes them feel as though they are on display. As an alternative, the bridal party can be seated at a round table utilizing the same seating order as a rectangular table.

Parents' Tables Since a child's wedding is a special day for moms and dads, both sets of parents should have their own table with guests, including grandparents, aunts and uncles. Traditionally, the officiant, and his or her spouse (if applicable), are seated with the bride's parents.

Guest Tables When arranging seating for your guests, you can either group people together who already know one another, or seat guests together whom you believe have similar interests.

A seating chart and place cards can help the dinner seating run smoothly. Write guests' names and table numbers on both sides of the card, to facilitate table conversation, then place the cards in alphabetical order on a table near the reception entrance.

Order of Events at the Reception There are many important, traditional activities that take place during the reception. To ensure that you will have time to enjoy each of these events without having to rush, it's a good idea to determine a schedule of events in advance and provide copies to all vendors, including caterer, photographer and DJ.

6:30 p.m. - Cocktails and Hors D'oeuvres When your guests arrive, they will mingle while enjoying cocktails and appetizers. The DJ or band will play music to start off the party on the right note. Generally, the guests will still be mingling when the bride and groom arrive.

You may choose to have your arrival announced so that guests enjoy your entrance. You may be asked to cut the cake upon your arrival so the catering staff can begin preparing the slices.

Make sure your photographer knows the time the cake cutting will take place so he or she can capture the moment.

7:30 p.m. - Dinner When the dinner chimes ring, your guests will pick up their place cards and find their tables. Then the members of the bridal party will be announced and seated.

Before dinner is served, champagne should be poured at each guest's place in preparation for the toasts. Often, the father of the bride will offer words of welcome, followed by the toasts of first the best man, then the maid or matron of honor. You may want either your officiant or another individual to offer a blessing over the food. Finally, dinner is served.

8:45 p.m. - Traditional Dances After the dinner plates are cleared, the bride and groom take center stage for their first dance as a married couple. This is followed by the father/daughter dance, then the mother/son dance.

Then the bridal party enjoys a dance, pairing the bridesmaids and groomsmen who walked up the aisle together.

9 p.m. - Dessert Is Served After the traditional dances are complete, the catering staff serves slices of cake and/or another desert to your guests. The bride and groom should take time to enjoy the cake - not squishing cake into each other's face.

9:05 p.m. - Tossing the Bouquet For the bouquet toss the single women assemble on the dance floor. When the bride tosses her bouquet, the one who catches it is said to be the next to marry. Do have a special bouquet made for tossing if you would like to preserve your actual bouquet.

Some couples may choose to also have a garter toss, where the groom tosses the garter to the single men. You may want the photographer to stage a picture showing the holders of the bouquet and garter.

9:15 p.m. - Dancing the Night Away Consider starting the evening's dancing with an upbeat song all your guests can enjoy.

10:45 p.m. - Bon Voyage! The newlyweds leave the reception and prepare for traveling. Guests assemble to wish them farewell and the party winds down. Lights that were dimmed when the dancing began come up so guests know to gather their belongings and prepare to depart.