Mid-Valley Voice

Wedding Shower 101

As the hostess, you are basically planning a party that anticipates an even bigger party. And the guest of honor is someone who is close to you. So you'll want to make every effort to make the bride or the couple happy.

Take a moment to review the following basic information regarding how to plan a wedding shower.

Hostess(es)

Traditionally, the honor attendant serves as shower hostess. She can request help from members of the wedding party.

Co-workers, female relatives of the bride or the groom, can throw additional showers. Usually the mothers of the bride and groom do not serve as hostesses, but they may help out behind the scenes. Other close friends who are not in the wedding party may throw a shower. This customs is especially prevalent for small wedding parties.

Budget

How much do you want to spend on the shower? Who is contributing? First, find out how much money you have to work with, then pick a location and theme.

Date/Time

Showers are traditionally held from six months before the wedding to a week before. Prior to picking a date and time, decide where you want to hold the shower since location availability will be a factor. Try to pick a day and time most of the guests will have open. This usually means weekend afternoons. However, work-day showers can be held during lunch hour or immediately after work. Evening get-togethers are also an option.

Surprise (?)

Planning a surprise shower can be challenging but well worth the look of shock on the bride's countenance or on the faces of the couple when they enter the room. Make this decision early, since it will affect how you proceed with the details.

The guest list

If the bride knows about the shower, ask her to help with the guest list. If you want it to be a surprise, consult with her mom, her sister or the groom (if it's not a couples shower). Make sure friends and family of the bride and groom are invited, as well as the wedding party. Everyone invited to the shower also should be on the wedding guest list.

Invitations

Invitations can be formal or casual, matching the theme of the festivities. They can be printed or fill-in-the-blank.

Send them out four to six weeks before the day to guarantee each guest gets the invitation in time to mark the shower on his or her calendar. Request an RSVP by two weeks before the party.

Gifts

Make sure the bride and groom have registered before the shower. Include information on where guests can purchase gifts along with the invitations.

Shower Locations and Themes

Like the wedding itself, a wedding shower can be as casual or as formal as the planners choose.

A homegrown affair. For a more intimate, casual shower, consider holding one at your home. Before you volunteer your house, be certain you have ample room for the guests. Will there be enough seating? Bathrooms? Refrigerator space for the food that will be served? At a shower, you want everyone to be able to enjoy themselves. Close quarters are not enjoyable.

A backyard barbeque. On a warm afternoon or evening, consider having the shower outside, where there is room to mingle. Hang outdoor lights, serve tropical drinks and have someone at the grill. Again, make sure you can accommodate the number of guests you're inviting. Make sure there's enough seating and bathrooms. And have a back-up plan in case of inclement weather.

Afternoon tea. There are many area tearooms that provide a Victorian atmosphere. You can go the whole nine yards and ask guests to dress the part with gloves and hats. Or go for casual elegance. Either way, a happy bride-to-be, tasty tea and crust-less sandwiches add up to a party made in heaven.

Time for wine. One of the St. Louis region's many wineries can provide wine for every taste, wonderful foods and even entertainment (on specified days and times). You may want to consider hiring transportation for guests, so there's a designated driver before you start. A winery shower can be particularly festive during the strawberry festival or Octoberfest.

Evening cocktails. An evening affair at a fashionable restaurant or bar could be an elegant alternative for a shower.

Sporting news. If the bride and groom are big sports fans, consider renting a suite at Busch Stadium, the Edward Jones Dome or Savvis Center to watch a Cardinals, Rams or Blues game. Offer hot dogs, popcorn, beer and soda. Don't forget to check security restrictions on packages.

A bunch for brunch. Consider having a Sunday brunch either at a restaurant or at home.

Honeymoon preview. Does the couple know where they're honeymooning? If they're heading for Cancun, have the shower at a Mexican restaurant. Bound for Hawaii? Have a luau. Exploring the Eternal City of Rome? Head to the Hill for an Italian feast.

Spa day. Gather the girls for a day of pampering. Some spas have packages available that include a variety of services, from manicures and pedicures to facials and massages. The staff should provide a private room where you can do the gift exchange and serve a healthy, spa-worthy meal.

Engagement and Wedding Rings

If you were to wear one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Would you go for what is trendy and hip? Or would you be more conservative and traditional with your choice?

These are the kinds of intensely personal decisions that you will face as you prepare to purchase your engagement and wedding rings.

In today's world, it is rare for a man to choose an engagement ring for his fiancé-to-be or a wedding ring for his bride-to-be without asking for her input.

Before you and your fiancé head into a jewelry store, become familiar with the "four C's," different stone shapes, the various setting options, wedding bands, and what's available for men beyond the traditional band.

The four C's: When you look at a diamond, you can judge its quality based on the four C's - carat, color, clarity and cut.

- Carat is the unit of weight used for diamonds. Carats are subdivided into points - there are 100 points to a carat. So a 130-point diamond weighs 1.3 carats.

- A diamond can actually be any color in the spectrum. Completely colorless, icy-white diamonds are rare, and therefore, more valuable. The best way to see the true color of a diamond is to look at it against a white surface.

- A diamond's clarity is determined by taking into account the number, size, placement, color and nature of any internal "inclusions" - external surface irregularities. Almost all diamonds have inclusions to some extent. The fewer or less noticeable the inclusions, the more valuable the diamond.

- Diamonds are cut into facets - the small, flat, polished planes cut into a diamond so that the maximum amount of light is reflected. The amount of this reflection is called "brilliance" and is extremely important in evaluating the quality of a diamond. A round, full-cut diamond has 58 facets.

Diamonds have a rating for each of the four Cs. Once you start looking at diamonds, you'll figure out which of them is most important to you. When considering size versus quality, keep in mind - a bigger diamond that doesn't have a high quality will just show more irregularities.

If you want to be a bit more daring, use a gemstone, such as a sapphire, emerald or ruby, for your engagement stone. You can always use smaller diamonds as accent stones or on your wedding band.

Shape: Stones are cut into different shapes, many of which can appear traditional and modern at the same time.

One of the most popular stone shapes is round because it shows incredible brilliance and is very traditional. Also popular right now are the square princess and the long and slender emerald. Other shapes include marquis, oval and pear.

Setting: The metal setting displays a stone to its best advantage. When it comes to setting, you will need to make two decisions: metal and setting style. For metal, you will choose between two basic colors:

- Yellow gold is considered the "traditional" wedding band metal, and it is said to symbolize the warmth and love of marriage.

- White metal is one of the hottest trends in jewelry. Platinum is the strongest metal and is very rare, a perfect metaphor for couples looking for that eternal symbol of devotion. White gold offers a similar look for less money. However, the difference is evident when you place the warmer-toned white gold next to the icy platinum.

- Do you want the best of both worlds? Choose a two-toned design that features both yellow and white metals. It offers great versatility for individuals who like to wear both colors.

There are many settings available, many of which are best suited for certain stone shapes and metal colors:

- A prong setting is the most common type. Prongs hold a stone firmly in a metal basket. Prong setting lets the light hit the diamond from all angles, maximizing a diamond's brilliance. Four prongs show more of the diamond. Six prongs hold the diamond more securely but can overwhelm a stone.

- A bezel setting is more contemporary. It consists of a metal rim with straight or scalloped edges that fully or partially surround the perimeter of the stone. It is usually a good choice for a round stone.

- A diamond in a white metal bezel setting usually appears larger, and a red or green gemstone in a yellow gold bezel setting often makes the stone appear redder or greener. However, a yellow gold bezel setting can sometimes make a diamond appear less white because the yellow tint of the setting is reflected in the stone.

- A channel setting places a row of stones with no metal separating them between two horizontal channels for part of the ring, or the entire ring. It has a smooth and unobtrusive surface and provides better security for small stones than some other settings. This setting is especially popular for wedding bands.

- Another setting popular for a band is pavé.  A pavé setting involves three or more rows of several small stones fitted into holes that set them level with the surface of the ring. The surrounding metal is then raised into beams that secure the gems. This setting gives the illusion of more and bigger stones than are actually there, but is not recommended for more fragile stones.

- Other settings you may be interested in include tension (in which the stone appears to be floating), bar (in which thin vertical bars of metal are placed between stones to hold them secure) and gypsy (in which the stone sets flush into a hole in the ring so that it doesn't protrude at all). The latter is very popular for men's rings.

Wedding bands: When looking at wedding bands, you can either purchase a band that matches your engagement ring or you can select one that complements it. You can also choose to solder your wedding band and engagement ring together, so that they are one ring, or keep them separate. Keep in mind, you'll have more flexibility if you keep them separate.

For instance, you can wear just your band(s) when you want to be casual and include your engagement ring for dressier occasions. Once you solder them, there's no separating them without potential damage.

For the groom: For most men, a wedding ring may be the only piece of jewelry they ever wear. They need to have a ring that's both comfortable and flattering.

Many men's rings today have a curved - not flat - interior leading to a more comfortable fit. Men can also look for rings that have a plain, tapered bottom designed to bear the brunt of abuse.

Diamond wedding rings for men are coming back. These diamonds aren't necessarily flashy, but they have subtle sparkle that makes them interesting. They also can coordinate with the bride's wedding band and be set the same way, or in a gypsy setting which is both functional and flattering for men.

The metal of a man's wedding ring should match his wife's whether she has a yellow gold, platinum or a two-toned setting.

It's all in the details: Whether you are the bride or groom, when trying on rings, be sure to select a style that flatters your hands.

Individuals with small hands and fingers look better with a proportionately - sized ring. Vertically set stones make hands seem longer, while an oversized ring makes hands seem shorter. If you have big hands, stay away from small rings - they'll make your hands look larger.

Make sure you ask your jeweler about caring for your rings. Have them cleaned regularly. And have the stones inspected for looseness. A diamond can last forever, but not if you lose your stone down a sink drain or in the yard because it was loose.

Flowers With Style

Of all the decisions you make in association with your wedding, choosing your flowers can be the most intimidating. There are so many varieties, breeds, and subtle variations in color. And that's not even taking into account the seasonal factors such as what flowers are available at the time of year for your wedding.

The following listing includes some ideas on which to base your arrangements, the best types of flowers to use and some seasonal choices.

Bridal Bouquets: Your bridal bouquet is perhaps the most important - and most photographed - arrangement in your wedding. Consider these ideas when picking your bouquet:

- A gift from the groom. Since the bridal bouquet is a gift from the husband-to-be, let him pick the flowers (with some assistance, of course). Then in those moments before the ceremony when you are holding your bouquet, you'll remember that your groom chose those flowers especially for you. And you'll be able to hold the bouquet of blooms close to you as you process down the aisle.

- A living memory. What did your mother carry in her wedding bouquet? What about your grandmother? Create a tradition by replicating your mom's or grandmother's bouquet.

- A study in contrasts. If you want your bouquet to stand out against your white dress, carry bright flowers.

- A fragrant bundle of joy. A white bouquet featuring a combination of sturdy orchids, elegant calla lilies, sweet gardenias and traditional lilies of the valley will surround you with a natural perfume.

- The shape of your joy. Perhaps you want the extravagance of a cascade, the simple elegance of a round bunch, the beauty of long-stemmed blooms laying in the crook of your arm, or the pure romance of a heart. The shape of your bouquet should reflect both your personal style and the style and theme you've set for your wedding.

- A matching pair. Your groom's boutonniere can be a very miniature version of your bouquet, keeping the same flowers, hues and shape but on a smaller scale.

Bridesmaids' Bouquets and Groomsmen's Boutonnieres: Your bridesmaids' flowers should match the colors in their dresses, and the groomsmen's boutonnieres should match the color scheme. Following are a few fresh ideas for these flowers:

- If your wedding features multiple colors, have each bridesmaid carry a bouquet that features one of the hues. For example, if you're having a spring wedding, consider having one bridesmaid carry lavender flowers, another yellow, another pink and another peach.

- The groomsmen escorting them should have a boutonniere in a matching color.

Use flowers with symbolism that reflect your values:

- Blue violets - faithfulness

- Forget-me-nots - true love

- Honeysuckle - bonds of love

- Ivy - fidelity

- Jasmine - joy

- Lilies of the valley - return of happiness

- Myrtle - remembrance (especially poignant if you're remembering some dearly departed love ones during your celebration)

- Red chrysanthemums, roses or tulips - love

- Instead of carrying bouquets, have each bridesmaid carry a single bloom to make an elegant, bold statement.

Mother-of-the-Bride/Mother-of-the-Groom Nosegays: Don't forget mom! Small bouquets make the mothers look lovely when they're being escorted down the aisle. While these bouquets should be consistent in color and style with the rest of the blooms you're using, let the mothers personalize their flowers. If they have a particular flowers that is special to them, ask the florist to include it.

Floral Décor: When discussing the flowers with your florist, don't forget altar flowers, pew decorations, as well as reception centerpieces and displays. Let your florist know your wedding theme and style. If possible provide photographs of your ceremony and reception sites. He or she should be able to provide some innovative ideas for your arrangements.

Let Them Eat Cake!

What is the most memorable aspect of your wedding? Some of your guests will talk about the bridesmaids' gowns. Others will discuss the lovely flowers. Many will exclaim over how beautiful the bride looked.

But the one aspect of the wedding that all your guests - men and women, children, parents and grandparents - will remark on is the wedding cake. Your wedding cake not only serves as the culmination of a delightful dinner - and a wonderful day - but also as a delicious dessert. It makes a style statement as it embodies the theme of your wedding, whether you chose seasonal or sophisticated celebrations of your marital vows.

Starting the Planning: Throughout the wedding planning process, you should always keep the cake in mind. However, you shouldn't officially start designing your cake until after other major decisions - such as the theme, dress styles and reception venue - are finalized. All of these factors will affect how you look at and make choices regarding your cake.

When choosing a baker or cake designer, ask friends and families for recommendations. Make appointments with these bakers for some tastings and discuss what they offer, including flavors, fillings, frostings, as well as toppers and/or other décor. Find out which combinations you like and ask them to estimate a price per slice based on the number of guests.

Then choose the baker that meets your tastes and your budget.

Confections With Class: Today, you don't see many cakes with pillars and fountains. Modern cakes resemble current dress design - clean and simple design. Of course, the variations on this classic wedding reception element put the icing on your personal style.

Tiers: The tiers of a cake are much like the shape of diamonds. The most popular tier shape is round. But square tiers are also becoming popular. They can be styled to resemble stacked gift boxes. Oval shapes are a new trend, giving cakes a distinctive look. You can also consider stacking differently shaped tiers atop one another to create a multidimensional appearance.

Flavors: What is your favorite kind of cake? Of course, the classics are white and chocolate, but there are many other flavors available. What about lemon or lime? Cranberry or hazelnut? Even carrot cake! Alert your baker to your favorite flavor, and he or she may be able to satisfy that sweet tooth.

You should base your filling choice on the kind of cake you select. Combine classic white cake with classic vanilla créme, aromatic lemon curd or mousse, or white chocolate. Pair rich, moist chocolate cake with mocha, amaretto or Grand Marnier créme. Tiramisu and cannoli créme (sweet ricotta cheese) also make flavorful and unique fillings.

Or look at exotic fruits for exciting fillings - passion fruit, pineapple, coconut, cherry or orange. Your filling can be as subtle or as unusual as you'd like.

Colors: Wedding cakes usually are iced in white to match the bride's dress. Rich vanilla buttercream is a perfect choice.

However, you can pick any of a number of colors. Hues that match or complement the bridesmaids' gowns can add subtle color to your cake - through pink, pale green, ice blue and lavender ornamentation. Dark chocolate mocha-flavored cream on a chocolate cake makes a flavorful combination.

Décor: Cake trimmings are available to meet any desire. Fresh flowers that match the bride's or bridesmaids' bouquet(s) can grace the cake. Ribbons can encircle the tiers. The icing can also be textured. Basketweave patterns, Swiss dots, swirls or even your married initials can be woven throughout the cake's design.

Toppers: Flowers or ribbons (made of sugar or real materials) can grace the top of your cake. Or you can use ornamental pieces that have special meaning to you. A vintage topper that your parents or grandparents used can be lovely.

Don't Forget the Groom: If you've always dreamed of a classic white cake but also want to include another flavor or style, a groom's cake can accommodate your wishes. This unique cake can be anything from classic tiers to unusual shapes. It may have a theme centered around special moments (i.e., a replica of the place you were engaged, or the place you're going on your honeymoon) or a favorite hobby (i.e., tennis or golf). Just don't forget to consult the groom - it is his cake after all.

Consulting Your Baker: Whatever your dream cake may be, however extravagant or simple, consult your baker about the reality of making that cake come to life. Using pictures you've snipped out of magazines, or the description of what's in your imagination, he or she can help you make your wedding cake dream come true.

Sweet Treats: Wedding favors are little "thank you" gifts for your guests. To show them how much you appreciate having them celebrate with you on your special day. How can you find a favor all your guests will enjoy? Give them a "sweet memory" of your wedding - a treat they can eat.

Check out the following suggestions for edible favors that you can order either from a baker or a local confectionery:

• Candied almonds - a tradition at Italian weddings - represent the bitter and the sweet that come with married life. Go classic by gathering them in white tulle and tying with a ribbon in your wedding colors; or place the almonds in decorative boxes.
• Like the Italian but not the almonds? Give each guest a cannoli or a variety of traditional Italian cookies.
• A petit four iced with your new initial will last only a moment on the lips but leave a lasting impression.
• Give each guest Kisses and Hugs - Hershey's, that is! Gather them in tulle or tissue paper.
• You don't have to be Greek to have a little piece of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." Share some baklava with friends and family.
• Help your guests cleanse their palettes between dinner and dessert - offer them mints. Maybe in small tins bearing your name and your groom's.
• Think conversation hearts are fun and romantic? Order some for your wedding marked, "Just Married" and "Kiss the Bride."
• Colorful, personalized lollipops in your wedding colors can display your new monogram.

Bare-Faced Beauty - Your Wedding Day Complexion

It is true when they say that beauty is skin deep. So you should do your best to take care of your complexion to ensure radiant skin. Following are some steps to make sure your complexion is in the best shape possible on your wedding day.

Six months before your wedding, consult a skin care specialist or dermatologist for a good cleansing program. An expert can help you determine what kinds of products will work best with your skin type. He or she also can help you figure out how to take care of any problem areas.

Take a serious look at your nutrition. If you don't already do so, start drinking at least eight glasses of water a day. Water not only hydrates you, but also leads to clear skin.

Stay away from caffeine. Avoid items such as tea, coffee and soda, as well as greasy foods. Start paying attention to what you eat. Veggies and fruits are better for your skin than fast food.

Approximately three to four months before your wedding make an appointment for a facial. Make sure the spa you select has licensed clinicians working on your skin.

Let the person performing your service know what the skin care expert or dermatologist said about your skin and what products you use. He or she can tailor the facial so it doesn't aggravate your skin.

If you enjoy the experience and have good results (clear, smooth skin), consider scheduling regular facial appointments before your wedding.

Now is a good time to experiment with self-tanners if you think you'll want a little color for your wedding. Test several brands to see which shows the best color and how they otherwise react to your skin. Obviously, you won't want to use any product that causes break outs, splotches or other irritations. Find out the method of application that best works for you.

Six weeks before your wedding is a good time to do a trial run of any professional waxing services you may need from eyebrows, to upper lip, to bikini waxes - especially if you're planning on wearing swimsuits on your honeymoon.

Determine how your skin reacts to the waxing. Some people have no reaction at all. Others experience extreme redness, bumps and irritation. Find out now how you can best take care of your skin's reaction so you'll know what to do for your next appointment.

Nothing looks better against clear skin that a bright, white smile. Try whitening toothpaste or professional bleaching to make your smile brighter than it's been in years.

Two weeks before your wedding keep up the good work. Even though things are probably getting hectic, make sure you follow your skin care regime and continue drinking plenty of water. And no matter how rushed you are, try to limit your fast food intake. Grease is a complexion destroyer!

Newlywed Nails

Beautiful Hands and Feet for Your Wedding Day: It's known as the ring shot - when your photographer takes a shot of your hand with a bright, shiny wedding ring on your ring finger, lovingly grasping the hand of your husband. The last thing anyone wants to see in the ring shot are discolored, jagged nails and ragged cuticles.

Not good with manicure tools? Here are some tips on nails that will make any ring look that much better.

Shape: Your fingernail beds - the nail area from your cuticle to the whites - have a distinct shape. Are they long, short or in between? When considering what shape to file your nails, look to your nail bed to guide you.

Pointed oval tips are best for those with long nail beds. Squared tips best suit short nail beds. And softly rounded tips complement any bed shape.

When it comes to your toes, the nails should be cut straight across. Then shape only the big toe slightly with a file.

Length: You don't want any snags on your wedding day, do you? With all of the handshaking, hugging, bouquet holding and cake slicing, you want fingernails you can work with. Keep nails fairly short or medium length. That way, you'll have less chance of having one break.

Color: Against a white wedding dress, soft neutral colors look best. Consider blush pink, pearl or opal. A French manicure looks very elegant and is perfect for a wedding.

For your toes, you could match your fingernails. French manicures look charming on toes. Or you could have your "something blue" on your feet - a bright blue nail polish could be fun if you're daring.

Fake It: If you're a closet nail biter, have weak nails or nails that just don't hold polish no matter what you do, fake it.

Two weeks before your wedding, get a full set of acrylic nails. They can be any length or shape you prefer. They're very durable, and polish never chips off them. You may need a little while to get used to them, but acrylic nails consistently look great. This will be especially nice when you're on your honeymoon and still have beautiful nails.

If you're concerned about harming your natural nail, just have the acrylic nails removed when you return from the honeymoon. Great looking nails at your wedding and on your honeymoon are well worth the price and effort.

The Dashing Gentlemen

On the wedding day, most of the attention is focused on the bride and her bridesmaids. After all, their attire sets the mood and tone for the entire wedding.

But the men are important as well. You want the groom and the groomsmen to get noticed too - and not because they're dressed poorly.

Types of Formal Wear:

- For a semiformal daytime wedding, suits are actually more appropriate than tuxedos. Men can wear a tie or go without one.

- For a semiformal evening wedding, a dark tuxedo and bow tie with cummerbund or vest is appropriate. Or men could wear a dark suit. Wear a white wing-tipped or turned-down collared shirt.

- At a formal daytime wedding, choose from tuxedos, tailcoats and gray strollers. Wear it with a white spread-collar shirt, a vest that matches the coat, and an ascot.

- Formal evening weddings call for black tie. Wear a classic black tuxedo with a white wing - or spread-collar shirt, black bow tie, and a matching vest or cummerbund.

Just because the men are wearing tuxes doesn't mean that they have to be boring. The latest trends in tuxedos are longer jackets with a narrow cut. And vests come in a variety of colors and textures.

Even though all the men are basically dressed the same, it is appropriate for the groom to stand out, especially since it's his big day. "The groom may wear a different vest color, jacket or tie in order to distinguish him from the groomsmen.

After all, the bride shouldn't get all of the attention as she and her Prince Charming exchange vows.